College Tribune

Independent UCD News

Turbine

Newman Building to Be Left Fallow for a Year

The UCD administration has announced that the Newman building is to be left fallow over the coming months. The decision was made in accordance with the basic principles of crop rotation. Studies have shown that fallow periods are vital in…

President Andrew Deeks to Rename College “University China-Dublin”

Documents the Turbine obtained from rooting through the bins behind the Tierney building reveal President Andrew Deeks has been pondering selling off the ‘C’ in UCD’s name to China. Senior members of the Chinese Communist Party it is believed are…

Student Depression on the Rise

For the majority of us, the doldrums of reading week and the anxiety of mid-term essay deadlines is a period that comes and then goes. It is a fleeting thing, a blink, a thin slice trimmed off the fat loaf…

Turbine reveal True Spending Breakdown of Third-Level Fees

College costs. We can’t get away from it. Now, after government plans to ignore the higher education funding crisis were met by hundreds of enthusiastic college students eager for an excuse to miss a day of lectures, the Department of…

Turbine

A Portrait of a Kerryman as a Young UCD Student

“I wanted real adventures to happen to myself. But real adventures, I reflected, do not happen to people who remain at home: they must be sought abroad.”  ? James Joyce, Dubliners I’m often asked the vexing question “how in all places did…

Turbine

Saoirse Ronan Power Sharing Deal Reached

A comprehensive political deal has been reached in Belfast that has saved Anglo-Irish relations from sliding yet further into turmoil as a result of a disagreement over the national status of actress Saoirse Úna Ronan. The agreement sees the government…

Turbine

Tiny Fluffy Puppy made redundant following Mind, Body & Soul

A tiny fluffy puppy has been left heartbroken this week following a compulsory lay-off action by his employer. The axing comes in the wake of the Mind Body +&/ Soul Festival held on the Belfield Campus from Tuesday to Thursday…

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Turbine: Classifieds

WANTED: Revised and up to date books. If you can help email library@ucd.ie FOR SALE: UCDSU Commercial Services Ltd. All offers considered MISSING: “Free Fees” last seen in the late 1990s. Contact Jan O’Sullivan WANTED: A good man for a…

Turbine

University President Attends Function in Australia

Over the summer break, university president Andrew Deeks attended a number of functions representing UCD to the wider academic and business communities. These functions typically entail much hand-shaking, back-patting and photo-opportunitying and serve the function of allowing the president to…

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Turbine: Photo of the Week

A heartwarming story of an addict dog who overcame temptation hit headlines this week, warming the hearts of millions. The dog in question, Monty the Dog, had been struggling with a two-year addiction which at its peak entailed upwards of…

Turbine

Turbine: News in Brief

College started back last week, a lot of students are having trouble finding accomodation. This week is Fresher’s week. There’s a whole load of really heavy stuff going on out there in the real world.

First fatality confirmed from attempting to keep up New Year’s Resolutions

We here at the Turbine are sad to report the first Resolution-related death of 2015 here in Ireland. Paddy McGuire, pharmacy age 32, nurse died of a heroin overdose early last night as he strived to maintain his promise to…