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Emotional scenes as students are gradually taught how to write after the Christmas Break

Following in the wake of awkward family gatherings, 12 Pubs shenanigans, the stress of a part time retail job and general excess, many UCD students upon their return to college have found themselves unable to remember how to write. This…

Parent’s Struggle To Explain To Their Children That Santa Has A Budget

As Christmas draws near, store hundreds of children are writing to the big man up North in the hope of receiving their entire Christmas Wish List. In the background of this, no rx their parents have begun the yearly ritual…

The Turbine does: Exams

Well, buy viagra it had to happen someday. Winter is coming, the air has a chill to it, and exam season is almost upon us. Thankfully, the Turbine is on hand to teach you all exactly how to pass your…

Turbine: Shirt Threatens To Brainwash Generation Of Pre-Teens Into Hating Science

In the wake of the controversy caused by the shirt worn by European Space Agency’s Matt Taylor during an interview after his mission’s success, levitra hundreds of young girls have abandoned all dreams of becoming an astronaut or scientist and…

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Pay and Display for Cyclists Later this Year

  UCD’s buildings office has triumphed once more in its efforts to milk the student population for every last cent in their pockets. Following the overwhelmingly positive reaction to their recent announcement involving Pay and Display parking on Campus, the…

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Welcome to Ireland

With the start of a new semester, a whole new wave of foreign students have arrived on campus. This semi-comprehensive list of 30 words and phrases should help anyone who is not a native find their way around our campus…

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Mini Basketball?

Attention UCD basketball players! Your University needs you! Following the completion of a new ¾ size basketball court located beside the student centre, buy viagra UCD’s Basketball club has decided to create a ¾ size basketball team to go with…

The Turbine’s top 5 UCD sculptures

If you’ve spent any time around the new lake we’re sure you’ll have noticed that our campus has been graced by the presence of another statue. The sculpture joins the various other works of art dotted around campus and we now…

SU condemnation of UCD student

The Turbine can now confirm that UCD SU have issued a posthumous condemnation of a former Medicine student, Kevin Barry, for what has been deemed violent protest. On the morning of September 20th 1920, Barry was involved in an ambush…

Ginger separatists organise in UCD

It has recently come to the attention of the Turbine that a small group of revolutionaries have taken up residence in the bowels of UCD. The group, pharmacy who title themselves as the “Ginger Separatist Movement” or GSM, have been…

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