Duffy to Install Live Dragon at Áras an Uachtaráin if Elected President

In one of the more surprising announcements to come out of the Ploughing Championships in Offaly last week, presidential hopeful Gavin Duffy raised the bar for his fellow candidates by promising to install a live Dragon into the Áras if he is elected president in October.

The presidential race has been heating up in recent weeks, with five candidates now with enough nominations to make the official ballot. The line-up includes the incumbent Michael D Higgins, along with three former stars of the Reality TV Show ‘The Dragon’s Den’; Sean Gallagher, Gavin Duffy and Peter Casey. While the campaign trail so far has been full of big promises, Duffy’s is as of yet the most ambitious.

‘If the people of Ireland do me the honour of electing me president in October, I will make some radical changes to the Áras, starting with the installation of a real-life dragon’, Duffy remarked in a speech he delivered from a specially-built dragon-cave-themed stage at the Championship. ‘The dragon would fulfil a role that has hitherto been neglected in Irish diplomacy; that of eating foreign diplomats and burning proposed legislation, a more social media friendly method of enforcing the presidential veto. The Áras will truly become a ‘Dragon’s Den’ of Irish diplomacy if I’m elected this October!’ Duffy concluded to enthusiastic applause from the crowd.

It is believed that Duffy seeks to install a dragon as a result of the popularity of Higgins’ two dogs, who currently have a large social media following.

 

By Shane Clune – Turbine Editor

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