FRESHERS GET LOST

This headline refers to the certain freshmen who are getting lost, as well as to the non-freshmen who are becoming peeved and weary as they reconfigure freshmen-orientations. One can easily imagine the latter uttering the headline phrase under their breaths, or indeed some unspeakable synonymical phrase, such as g*t l*st or b*zz off.

Not since Gorgonzola, the famed protagonist of Rabelais, has the spirit-level of my mind been so disrupted as when this headline was conceived of. The semantically double-headed horse encapsulates in an efficient way two phenomena that are perceivable across our campus on such early days in the semester as our own.

The more beady-eyed among you may have come to notice by now that this article has not so much explored the topic of the headline as it has commented on its admirable qualities, its subtlely and effectiveness. Motivating this is the fact that the topic of a fantasy rift between freshers and non-freshers is so dull as to remove any heart that might be in my mouth so as to lodge it in my shoe.

I would prefer for the headline to stand alone, and believe that it is mighty enough to do it. Yet this is not a world that could enable that and many are perturbed by the idea of a headline dawdling in isolation. Indeed, the notion is a discomforting one – the stuff of Hallowe’en, which is not yet here.

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Karl O’Reilly   |   Turbine Editor

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