When Fungie disappeared two weeks ago, many had feared the worst. The dolphin, which has been a frequent sight for locals and tourists in Dingle, has not been spotted now since October 13th, when reports emerged that people had seen dolphins flying out of the water, and not coming back down.

The Turbine spoke to Ford Prefect, a local fisherman, who witnessed these strange sightings. “I could have sworn I heard one of the dolphins signing.”

“It was like something out of a bad movie. The dolphins lept from the water, saying: ‘so long and thanks for all the fish’,” Prefect said. “I suppose with 2020 being what it is, you can’t blame the dolphins for wanting to leave the planet. I’m just lucky I had my towel with me.”

The Turbine can confirm that since these reports came to light, various other reports have placed Fungie in the UCD lake. While it is unclear whether he intends to get an education, or is just stopping by to see if the €100 fine for swimming in the campus lake is real, his appearance has given hope to many dolphin fans.

The bottlenose dolphin has been central to contemporary Irish culture, and as depressing as that is when you actually think about it, his absence has been upsetting to the public. Fungie is believed to be the oldest living solitary dolphin, a factor which does not discount the possibility that he may be pursuing a third level degree. It does, however, limit him to a mature student programme.

Congo Jack – Marine Biologist