Is Your Toddler Scared of the Dark? They’re Probably Racist

Have you ever wondered why your toddler is afraid of the dark? The usual reason people think their toddler gets scared at night is because of monsters under the bed, or nightmares, or being afraid of tripping over something on the way to shove something into their mouth. Well ground-breaking new research from psychologist Andrew Tierney suggests a much more sinister reason; your toddler might be scared of the dark because they’re a racist.

‘This fear has all the hallmarks of racism’, remarked Andrew in a discussion of his work with your correspondent. ‘Toddlers typically use racist words when discussing night, such as ‘dark’, ‘black’ or ‘not-white’, words that were typically used in racist societies such as Apartheid South Africa and Slave-owning America. They also seem to fear the night because it’s different from them; the average toddler associates themselves with day because it’s ‘bright’, ‘light’, and even in the worrying words of one toddler ‘white’. Whereas with night there is the general feeling that its ‘black’ and ‘dark’, words that toddlers don’t use to describe themselves. As such, night is seen as different to them, and that this difference renders it inferior.’

This research is sure to worry parents everywhere, as they may unwittingly be raising a racist. But don’t worry, there is a cure; Andrew recommends blindfolding the toddler for large portions of the day, in order to show them that night-time is not all that different from daytime.

 

By Shane Clune – Turbine Editor

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