Letter to the Editor: Millennials
I am writing in to tell you how SICK I am of hearing and seeing MILLENNIALS whining about life and how they struggle to afford basic human necessities. They are GREEDY AND UNGRATEFUL and I am SICK of hearing their complaints. SICK of them!
BACK IN MY DAY, I worked in a TOILET FACTORY and earned £5 an hour. I worked at NIGHT in a CAGE, cleaning old broken toilets and if I messed up, I WAS SET ON FIRE! Working conditions nowadays are so good you could basically live in an Tesco. Which I hear some people are actually doing… Anyway, I always see MILLENNIALS complaining about how minimum wage is not a ‘living wage’. As if £5 an hour was a living wage…. Granted, everything costed less and I could afford my first home after saving for 6 months. I could also afford medical care and education was free… but that’s beside the point. If MILLENNIALS want all these things so bad, then all they have to do is, essentially, cease to exist for a few years. Forego unnecessary spending on ‘food’, ‘water’, etc and after only about 2 years of hard work you will have saved enough to pay half of one month’s rent and maybe afford a decent toothbrush too. So stop complaining MILLENNIALS, if you work your fingers to the bone till you’re dead you will be able to afford a slightly comfortable life. Like the one I had before you ruined the ECONOMY!
*Editor’s note: ‘’This letter was written on the back of a Werther’s Original packet, which was tied to a Nokia 3210 and thrown through my bedroom window’’.