President Andrew Deeks to Rename College “University China-Dublin”

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Documents the Turbine obtained from rooting through the bins behind the Tierney building reveal President Andrew Deeks has been pondering selling off the ‘C’ in UCD’s name to China.

Senior members of the Chinese Communist Party it is believed are interested in securing the naming rights to the middle letter in Ireland’s largest university’s name. The proposal to re-brand the Belfield college ‘University China-Dublin’ are believed to be in the later stages of negotiations.

Shouting down from his office in the Tierney building top floor President Deeks outlined to this intrepid Turbine reporter that “it’s just a case of haggling an extra few million out of the Chinese at this stage”, and that the UCD administration has left lofty ideals like “morality” behind long ago.

The cunning ploy would have all the short-term merits of drawing in a large number of international students (and their juicy high fees) to Dublin, foremost through the fact many unfortunate Chinese students might be tricked into applying to “University China-Dublin” not realising the campus would be based in Ireland.

When questioned further about the sensibility of tying UCD’s image and reputation as an educational institution to a state such as China, which under the authoritarian rule of the Chinese Communist Party systemically suppresses the freedom of speech and political assembly,  and carefully censors their own education institutions and curriculum, President Deeks merely retreated from his window back to his office.  

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Zach Bower  | Turbine Writer

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