Student Confederacy of Ireland declare their secession from the Union!
mind serif;”>A splinter group within the Union of Students in Ireland has made the bold step of seceding from the Union, forming, what they have termed the Students Confederacy of Ireland. The move comes as the Union plans to march on government buildings demonstrating their opposition to an increase in registration charges and the possible reintroduction of third level fees, which was rumoured in the Irish Independent.
The Confederacy supports the reintroduction of third level fees on the basis that it will cleanse Irish universities of the lower echelons of society, who have recently threatened to dominate university life. They see the Unions opposition to fees as clear evidence of their pseudo leftist sympathies, aimed at appeasing certain elements within the student body.
They also site collusion between the Union and government as a reason for their secession. Rightly pointing out that both Eamon Gilmore and Pat Rabbitte served terms as USI president during their student days. That the Union are now turning on the Labour party is, they believe, disingenuous in light of the strong connection between the two institutions.
Politics student Jeff Davis, from South Dublin has been nominated as provisional president of the Confederacy, until such time as proper elections can be held. The group plans to obstruct the upcoming sleep out on Molesworth Street by playing kazoos and blowing bugles while Union members attempt to rest after a hard days marching and shouting cliché slogans.
The Confederacy appeal to students who have become disillusioned with the Union to write a letter to their USI representative expressing their dissatisfaction with the direction the Union is taking on the matter of fees. They welcome new members and appeal to the universities of Ireland to follow them in secession from the Union.
The Confederacy support the creation of a smaller university, made up of students who contribute financially to their education. Who know themselves better than the plebeian masses. They stand for the right-minded students who have become tired of the relentless pseudo-leftist policy espoused by the future members of Dáil Éireann, who at present content themselves to sleep outside the gates of their future abode.
Long live the Confederacy!