Aquaman Dies After Ingesting Plastic
It is with great sadness that I must recount the death of the dearly beloved superhero, Aquaman, AKA Arthur Curry, who passed away yesterday…
turbine
Hamster Starting to Think Playing Dead Prank Was a Bad Idea
“Initially I thought it would be hilarious you know, playing dead to freak out little Mary and her poor parents for a while”, Hammy…
Letter to the Editor: Millennials
Dear Editor, I am writing in to tell you how SICK I am of hearing and seeing MILLENNIALS whining about life and how they…
Government Receiving Horrific Abuse on Social Media
This last week has been described as being tough for the government with many of our crazed citizens taking to the internet to express…
Woman Starting to Suspect Husband Does Not Play Guitar Or Use Weights
Sharon Williams has recently begun to suspect that Michael, her husband of 4 months, does not in fact play the guitar nor use the…
Microwave Control Debate Needed As Fifth Student Is Vaporised
Last Monday, UCD Student Centre witnessed yet another microwave-related tragedy. Another student suffered complete evaporation due to incorrect use of the new microwaves. There…
3 Subtle References In The Shawshank Redemption You’ll Only Understand If You’re Me
When Andy befriends Red, showing how friendship can endure terrible situations and exceeds all boundaries people are faced with, it is also a metaphor…
The Finest Homeless in Europe
Daniel O’Connell once referred to the Irish as the finest peasantry in Europe. Now our peasantry is depleted and we are left with next…
Varadkar, Trudeau and Macron Host Charity Car Wash For Magaluf Trip
Yesterday, Leo Varadkar announced his plan to take part in a charity car wash this Wednesday alongside French Prime Minister Emmanuel Macron and the…
Scientists Find Health Benefits from Merely Wearing a Fitbit
In a recently published paper in the American scientific journal, Integrum Mendacium, health expert Dr Rupert Thomson revealed the results of his long-awaited study…
Hollywood Studio Plans to Remake Harrison Ford
This week, the CEO of Thirtieth Century Giraffe announced his studio’s plans to launch a remake of Harrison Ford within the next decade. “Remakes…
Is It Time to Legalise Aloe Vera?
Over recent years there has been varied debates about whether we should legalise Aloe Vera, or just keep it illegal. Maybe just recreational and…