Tiny Fluffy Puppy made redundant following Mind, Body & Soul

Turbine FluffA tiny fluffy puppy has been left heartbroken this week following a compulsory lay-off action by his employer. The axing comes in the wake of the Mind Body +&/ Soul Festival held on the Belfield Campus from Tuesday to Thursday the 24th of September by UCDSU. The puppy, who had been a loyal employee with his company for over five dog years was shocked to learn that his services were no longer required.

Speaking exclusively to the College Tribune the puppy expressed his upset at the surprise announcement. “It’s really just ageist you know.” the puppy said, adding “It’s so disheartening. You spend your whole life working for the same company, you think you’re making a career for yourself and then this.”

The Mind Body +&/ Soul festival has taken place for the last two years. Organised by University College Dublin Students’ Union, the event is heralded as a celebration of all things mental health related and is said to offer students a chance to relax and take their minds off the various crises which may be ailing them.

Second year arts student Brian O’Brien recalls meeting tiny, fluffy puppy at the event: “He was a total professional from start to finish. I mean he’d cuddle up to you, nip at you a  bit, maybe have little a go at your leg, the whole package. I’m very sorry to hear he’s been let go.”
The former employer of tiny fluffy puppy agreed to speak on condition of anonymity. “It’s a cuteness thing, you know. They [the puppies] hit peak cuteness around the one year mark and then it’s all downhill from there. At the end of the day I’m running a business and that business is putting little balls of fur in front of people that might have a minor breakdown if someone misspelled their name on a pumpkin spice latté. If you want charity go find the f***ing DSPCA or something.”

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