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Turbine

UCD Would Have Gotten Away with the Increases if it Weren’t for those Meddling Kids!

Speaking exclusively to the Turbine after the recent tent actions by UCD students, an anonymous source on the University Management Team admitted that “It was US that rent gouged the students, and we would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for those meddling kids.”

This was just after two members of the UMT had their masks pulled off in front of a large group of students. They were revealed to be the Grinch and Scar of Lion King, and were discovered by some stoner and his dog. 

After their legs were seen creating miniature tornadoes while running on the spot the Doberman and its owner were seen escaping the scene in a beaten down Volkswagen van labelled ‘Mystery Machine.’ Campus authorities have been requesting information from anyone who might have seen a green and blue van speeding out of the Belfield Campus.

While many UCD students have been swearing that they “know yer man from somewhere”, An Garda Síochana have announced that the student’s heroes are wanted for the distribution of edibles codenamed:  “Scooby Snacks” in the Dublin area.

 

Dugh Hooley – Tribune Slave