Student Spends Record Breaking 3 Weeks Staring at Blank Page
When Barry O’Donnell sat down in mid-March to write his latest assignment, few could have imagined that he would make absolutely no progress in the next 3 weeks. In a…
BREAKING: UCD Arts student reveals he “isn’t a communist”
During the past week rumours that an arts student might not be a communist have been spreading like the plague through the Newman building. While that student’s name will not…
Students’ Union Achieves Nothing for “Record Breaking” 8th Year in a Row
UCD Students’ Union has surpassed all expectations and has achieved absolutely nothing this year. The news comes after SU Officers announced all the many things they haven’t achieved this year…
UCD SWANS HAVE BEEN REPLACED WITH COMMUNIST SWAN BOTS
In the early hours of Tuesday morning, the Turbine was informed by an anonymous caller that the swans currently residing in the UCD lake have been entirely replaced by robotic…