The World Doctors Association have admitted in a recent statement to the press that jellyfish stings are not cured by urinating on them, as they once claimed. Dr Owen Lee and Dr Joe King told press gathered outside their medical centre the claim that urine could cure stings from the sea creature started off as a joke but quickly got out of hand.
Dr Lee remarked “at first we all thought it was hilarious. We didn’t think people would actually do it. But then one day Joe and I were hanging out on the beach and we saw some guys with way too many bracelets and one of them had gotten stung by a jellyfish. His friends turned down the Coldplay song they were listening to, pulled down their Diesel jeans and started to urinate on their friends leg. We almost died from laughing. We probably should have stepped in, everyone was looking at them. We felt awful. But it was just hilarious.”
Dr King then said “look we realise people should be able to trust their doctors, and we absolutely apologise for lying to you all. The joke clearly went too far and we are all very sorry. People shouldn’t be forced to doubt medical professionals. But you have to admit it was pretty funny.”
After years and years of people being forced into incredibly awkward situations with their friends and families, it is unclear whether the public will ever regain their trust in Doctors. Indeed this revelation will now most likely cast some doubts over the recent medical discovery that eating an entire raw onion cures headaches.
Seán Farbuckt
