How is your semester going? Is week three giving you bad vibes, ma chérie? Don’t worry, just blame it on Aquarius season!
Aries
Oh mon Dieu, how are the anger issues in this Aquarius season, Aries? Keep your little rage fits in check by getting up and doing some work… it is week 3 after all.
Taurus
Listen, I know Aquarius season is probably bringing out ALL of the stubbornness you possess. However, don’t let it dampen the romance brewing this season, with Capitalism D- oh sorry, Valentine’s Day, fast approaching.
Gemini
Which personality are you trying on this season, Gemini? Maybe it’s time to return that book that you took out on a short loan to James Joyce Library… and please pay your late fees too.
Cancer
Cancer, baby, you okay? I know your sensitive ass is probably overwhelmed with all of this hardcore, emotionally detached Aquarius energy. You’re a romantic at heart, so go on, text your tinder fling and go on that date you’ve been avoiding. Shoot your shot, baby.
Leo
Well, the spotlight’s on Leo but maybe instead of being under it (I know it’s hard for your attention-loving self but I promise you can do it), you should take a visit to your dark, dreary desk and set yourself a discipline routine. You have the ambition, now it’s time to get some discipline.
Virgo
Virgo, honey, maybe just let go and relax for this month. Tone down the constant criticising… like it’s okay that your friend wore blavy… they’re only human too. Have a snickers x
Libra
Maybe Aquarius season will actually help you to make up your mind for once… but please, talk to your therapist about your inability to commit to things.
Scorpio
Babe, you also, like Virgo, need to just chill out. Also maybe stop being so emotional? Channel the emotional-detachedness of Aquarius this season and suck up those tears so you can actually F O C U S in Zoom University.
Sagittarius
Sometimes keeping your mouth shut is the best thing to do. Try not to scream every unfiltered opinion you have this month … most of you law students should also take this advice on board.
Capricorn
You’re probably feeling less emotionally available than ever this season … you’re human too.., unless Deeks is a Capricorn too in which case there’s no redeeming you.
Aquarius
We know you suffer from the worst type of main character syndrome… but listen get out of your head a little… or maybe stay in it… this third national lockdown won’t let you be as “quirky” and “not like other girls” as you like to think you are.
Pisces
Listen, everyone wants to escape reality right now, but you need to stop spacing out. Maybe the unemotional energy of Aquarius is what you need to finally get a clear head and finally check your BrightSpace notifications.
Manét – Resident Psychic
