Despite claims from the Student Union that Dublin Bus unions, SIPTU and NRBU, told their drivers not to stop in UCD past 10pm, Dublin Bus officials told the Turbine that they love UCD students in a recent interview. Speaking to the Turbine, 39a driver, Adam Wilson, declared his love for stopping at UCD during the dying hours “at the end of a long shift you really want some peace and quiet on the journey from UCD to town. The students really understand that,” Wilson claims, “once they get a pint or two into them, you’d barely realise that they’re even on the bus. Sometimes I think I’m alone and I start to worry but then the comforting smell of alcohol hits me!”
Another bus driver, Abraham O’Dwyer, expressed his delight with the UCD student population: despite common belief that bus drivers struggle to endure the ‘pre-drink fueled students’ Mr. O’Dwyer claims that the accommodating and understanding students usually bring more alcohol than they need. “In these scenarios students tend to get boisterous” bemoaned O’Dwyer, “that’s why I make sure to bring me trusty ol’ flask with me! Once I get a bit of god’s goodness into me? I can barely hear the students and I tend to get into town a bit faster too!’ he said while patting a silver flask knowingly.
The SU Office have released a flyer available from their office which includes some easy tips such as: “Don’t jump out in front of buses – surprisingly not sound.” These tips have been described as “shocking” and “a true revelation’ by UCD students.
Dugh Hooley – Turbine Reporter (Satire)