Over the last year, the public perception of safety in Dublin has drastically deteriorated, with many residents now believing that they are living in an apocalyptic movie. Pressure has been mounting on the government to address this issue with increased calls for a more visible Garda presence in the city centre. Minister Helen McEntee faces the challenge of finding a fast solution, avoiding any real problem-solving, and ideally kicking the issue down the road long enough for the opposition to inherit it.
Rather than waste valuable funding recruiting gardaí when it could be spent on another bike shed, McEntee has found a cost-effective way to deal with this issue. The Department of Justice has ordered 60 floor-length mirrors strategically placed around the city’s busiest spots, creating the illusion that at least one government department is competent. This initiative also includes the installation of cardboard cut-outs of Gardaí and Garda cars in areas where actual Gardaí would much rather not bother showing up.
When asked if the Government considered addressing any of the roots of crime, such as poverty or inequalities, the minister simply laughed and stated, “The poor don’t vote.” She said, “The most important thing is that we ensure everyone feels safe. Well, everyone that matters anyway.” These measures will be officially unveiled next Monday and will be accompanied by a photo of Garda reflections shimmering in the Liffey.
Critics might call it a shiny distraction, but for now, Dubliners can look forward to a city where safety looks good on paper—or at least in reflections.
Yash Murph – Feeling Safe
