So, the highest grade you got in your midterms was 37% (and that was in Food Diet and Health), you don’t even know where the library is, and you’ve had a hangover since the 24th of September. 

You also don’t know how to explain to your parents that you want to drop out. Well we’ve created a guide to help you do just that or well we planned to but then we went to the pub, but we’ll get round to it, sure the deadline for articles isn’t for another few days, we’ll make a schedule and start afresh Monday, well Monday is a bit soon, maybe midweek at some point. 

Ok fine we’ll do it now then..

  1. If you don’t say that you’re ‘dropping out’ it won’t seem as bad. Start with “I think I’m looking to move in a different direction to the one my course is taking me.”
  2. Say that other people are doing it too. If everyone is struggling that means it must be impossible, right?
  3. Academia isn’t for me. “College doesn’t define a person.” Plenty of jobs on building sites lads.
  4. Emigrate. Pretty solid excuse. Maybe even defer for a year and pretend that you want to finish the course.

That’s all that we can think of, or are arsed to. Time for the pub.

Jack Nolnod – Motivational Speaker

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