In a recently published paper in the American scientific journal, Integrum Mendacium, health expert Dr Rupert Thomson revealed the results of his long-awaited study into the effects of wearing a Fitbit wristband. Conducted in conjunction with leading experts from colleges across the United States, this study involved a test sample of 1,574 individuals, half of whom wore a Fitbit. The aim of the study was to deduce if there were any health benefits to be gained from using one.
The results that Dr Thomson and his colleagues found were extremely surprising. The individuals who wore the Fitbit all received major health benefits in comparison to those who didn’t wear the Fitbit, but this was naturally expected. What was ground-breaking was the discovery that these health benefits occurred regardless as to whether the wearer actually participated in exercise or tried to eat healthy. In fact the results indicated that by merely wearing a Fitbit, an individual could experience health benefits such as a decreased chance of suffering from diabetes, cholesterol, colds, flus and STD’s, as well as a decreased likelihood of heart attacks. The majority of participants who wore a Fitbit also lost weight, gained muscle, and appeared more toned by the end of the study. Furthermore, one participant’s paralysis was seemingly cured by wearing the Fitbit for an hour!
The health benefits were most acute when the wearer of the Fitbit talked loudly about their Fitbit and insisted on showing it to everyone they came into contact with.
Dr Thomson and his team hope that the results of their study can help solve the problems of living in a modern sedentary society, as the current drive to encourage people to exercise is just not working. Wearing Fitbits could soon be the easier, medically-approved, alternative.
Philip Mignon – Turbine Writer
